Reasons and rhymes

Just gonna play with words for a little while, but there is still some context. It's not actually a poem, but it is on rhymes.

I'm searching to find memories from a past land, but there are so many things that I can't understand. So many years I've been trying to figure out why, so many things just wither and die. I'm afraid and cold, just want to find something tangible to hold. Just want to give up cause there's so much I can't control, but I won't ever give up trying to heal my soul. Could it be that I've lost in my mind, looking so deep that I ended up blind? Just wiping my tears has never been enough, some things are better to be accepted as being to tough. All I can see is the darkness, dulling my senses. When I just want go home it's hard to explore, this world that I try to restore. Heartache and heartbreaks have led me away, from the light of the day. Yet I'm burning to know, what this life has to show. Will it get better or worse, will I find a way to lift my curse? Will I find my way to a brighter path, or end up in my own blood bath? Questions I cannot answer or even concede, need to get a grip on my reality and greed. Have I been lead off track, or will I find my way back? But back to what if there is such a place, before all my thoughts started to interlace. I'm frightened by freedom and can't see the light, and somehow I've managed to turn the wrong into right. There is no plan and I don't know where to go, but I think that when the time is right it will show.