Coming out, again

I still can't get around to tell my mother that I'm demonkin. What's up with that really? I mean besides from the fact that I'm fucking tired of coming out of various closets all the damn time. Closets seem to like me or something, I dunno. Bi, trans, gay, bi, (but I never came out as gay to my family)... what else has there been? See, I've already lost count! Urgh... it's not that I'm worried really, I mean what's the worst that could happen? That she laughs at me. I can handle that. But it's just that the longer you keep a secret the harder it is to finally open up.

I've known about my demon identity for almost 2 years now, and that's way longer than I thought it would take before I open up about it. If only it wasn't so damn rare here in Sweden. There could at least be a Swedish word for it! How does one even translate "otherkin"? Closest I've come to is "av en annan sort", roughly translated from "kin of the other". And it's not even understandable. I guess I'm also insecure about how I should explain it. Or what the hell I should say if she doesn't want an explaination? Sometimes even my open-minded mother can be quite ignorant, if the issue doesn't concern her personally. She's not the type of person who could listen to someone rambling about something she doesn't agree with, like I am. Or very tolerant of things she considered "unnecessary" for some various reasons.

I dunno. I just hate coming out. All the explaining, what to expect and so on. And I'm not much for leaving notes for people to read, that's even more awkward. I have my own personal reasons for why I think it's super awkward to write a letter to someone I like, or is a family member. So that's out of the question. Another thing is that I only ever speak to my mother right before she goes to sleep, and it just wouldn't be such a good timing bringing it up when she's barely coherent. If I do happen to meet her in person, my sister is always taging along.

Actually, I think my sister would more easily accept it, but I don't want to come out to the both at once. Or I could get killed by questions or suffocating silence. God damnit, this shouldn't be so hard! I've been holding this in for far too long. But there's a reason for that too, which is that I wanted to be sure and certain, before flaunting it.