Okay, I have a new theory about why I can't eat or
sleep. I’m lovesick. I can't think of anything else than him, his
picture glued on my eyes, his written words on my mind, his soul in
my heart. He rules my world. Blinding me, leading me astray. I
don't even know if it's really him I adore, or if it's my
idea of who he is.
I’ve never fallen for someone I have never really met in real life
before, but to be honest, it's not that much different from it how
was when I sort of worshiped Tomb. Sure I met him every day in
School, but I never got to know him, not really.
I'm building a shrine of pictures and written
messages, but I never really talk to my crush. Just brief
conversations. Not actual, deep conversations about who we
are. I idolise an idea, an assumption, a face and listed facts.
Trying to figure out his personality through tumblr posts and
Facebook links. But there's only so much you can find, and how can I
really know who he is, at heart and in soul, without actual
conversations and actions?
And it's not like I can just pay him a visit cause I
was “in the neighbourhood”, cause that neighbourhood is in
Stockholm, and I can't just go randomly back and forth with the
ferry, no matter how damn fucking much I want to. But I will
meet him, I’ll try to figure out a way to make sure our paths cross
someday. For more than those two minutes we talked when I saw him
briefly a year ago. For it feels like I’m in love with a
ghost
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