Crazy things

I stayed asleep for 18 hours just to stay in the dream world. I was disappointed though, no interesting dreams at all. Just me running around in different places, basically. I haven't had a nightmare for a while, which is nice. And it might be because I sort of tackled that roller coaster of addictions, finally! Just went back to where I started, but still.

It really is better to cut than to practice starvation, sleep deprivation, regular overdoses, alcoholism and caffeine poisoning. Just saying. Yeah, I drank a lot of coffee, and I can almost actually call it caffeine poisoning since I drank about ten times the recommended max dosage. No way near deadly, but enough to make me start hallucinating and constantly being high as a house. Enough of that now though. Cause at least a few superficial cuts a day isn't gonna be poisonous, right? I still drink coffee, but about two or three cups a day, which is acceptable.

I realise it might not be so healthy being this slightly obsessed with dreams and dreaming, cause wanting to stay asleep for most of my time can lead to a downward spiral. Escapism? I don't know, but I should be a little careful, perhaps. What is it with me and unhealthy habits, really!? Do I collect them, or what!? So damn self destructive and careless that I'd rather die from some weird habit than live my life in what I call "boredom"? Can one really die from excessive sleeping anyway, or screwed up eating habits? I don't know, but it's called "unhealthy" for a reason.

Maybe I just like pushing things to the extreme. See how far I can go. Well that's some fucked up way of dealing with mental illness! But then again, maybe I do crazy things cause I'm... well, crazy.