I want to tell you so much Y, but my words are against me today. I'm so torn up and disappointed in myself I can't even think clearly, but I'll try. You should know I read the messages you wrote to me on tumblr and I read them over and over again. I listened to the song as well. I don't want to abandon you again. But I feel like there's a wall between us and I want to break it and reach through.
I cannot let go of you. I'm not sure why but there it is. I know you're not the same person as when we first met, and neither am I. I think we both needed to change in the directions we did. And that we're not done changing yet, perhaps we never will be. I don't want you to leave and I feel as though, I do need your love. I don't know what it means yet, I don't know what I feel except that I'm just connected to you somehow.
My latest poem was not directed to you, but more or less everyone else. You're not standing in my way, you're not doing anything that I have anything against. I would have tagged you like you tag me if it had been directed to you in any way. Not sure if you did interpret it that way or not, but just thought I should mention.
Not holding back as much anymore, as if my reasons to do so somehow slip away. I feel more safe somehow. Not so scared of saying the wrong thing, cause you know what I've realised? Maybe there is no wrong things to say. (As long as they're not lies). I look at you too, and I can't look away.
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