Hair

Well okay, it was like a disaster falling asleep and waking up, but I just now remember having nightmares too. In my dream my hair was falling off and I was left with tangled wisps which made me devastated! I seem to be a bit extra vain about my hair these days. Probably because it's getting longer and therefor needs more care. Also that the longer it gets, the more I like my hair. I'm like this ancient god or whatever who’s power was in their hair. It sort of feels a bit like that! The more satisfied I am with my hair, the more satisfied I am with myself, and it isn't so stupid thinking there lies a little power in that, is it? It's finally grown to the minimum length of my requirements, an inch underneath my nipples. It's practical in case I’d be caught bare chested. Silly really, cause that hasn't happened since upper school and I doubt it ever will happen again. I wonder how my hair will look on a flat chest... Anyways, I guess you can understand why that dream I had was a nightmare.

I’ve always had this irrational fear, since I was a kid, that someone would cut my hair when I’m asleep. Mostly at that time it was my sister's intentions I feared. I heard from a classmate at school that happened to, and ever since I’ve had that fear. When I listened to Lady Gaga's song “Hair” that memory came back to me. In it she sings that she feared that her mother would cut her hair at night. She probably had a more reasonable cause than I did, but still.

While we are on the topic of hair, that is sort of my indicator the testosterone I’m taking actually has some effect on me. That and my body odour. My thighs in particular are getting quite fussy, which is really neat, it makes them look less ugly, and I sort of think it gives them a little shading and could give the impression that they're less fat. I also suspect that testosterone has caused some fat redistribution, since I can now wear my leather pants which I couldn't a few weeks ago, even thought I’m on the same weight then as I am right now, 71 kg as of yesterday. I’m still amazed the battery in my scale is still working. It's been around since I bought the scale in autumn 2010, three fucking years! I’m starting to suspect that battery has been effected by some sort of sorcery which gave it eternal life or something! And I would be even more amazed if it suddenly would die.