Today I woke up lovesick. Crying for his absence, for my dreams were
lying and he's not here at all. Headache pounding, I slept the whole
day away. Only reason to get up was to smoke a cigarette and drink a
cup of coffee, and then repeat that. Didn't want to return to my
dreams of false hopes and a longing that doesn't go away. Rather
cry in his absence, cold in the evening breeze with heartache and
resignation.
Need to buy more smokes, but I’d rather just stay
inside this dark room and wrap my robe tighter around my body. I will
have to go sooner or later, but for now nothing ever matters than the
painful sadness within me. Sell my solitude for something better,
cause I can't stand not being around him much longer.
Where did my
strength go? Where did my hopes go? Feels like I wander aimlessly at
the same time as I’m sitting still. Stagnant. How did I give up on
love so hard I forgot what really matters? The power my heart alone
possesses is drowning me, and I wish that wasn't true.
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