I think I just figured out why I like psychiatric wards so much. Yes, I do like them, even though I don't like being locked up. It's because it's the only place among other people, strangers, that I feel some sense of belonging. Like minded people with histories equally painful as mine, a world of doctors and medication, like mine. I feel right at home there. Not so strange I have trouble letting go when I am to leave such a place after having spent some time there.
It might not be the safest place, but it sure is safer than most places. It's annoying with all the rules and of course being locked up isn't so fun, but all the rest is kinda neat for me. All I did was listening to "Somewhere I belong" by Linkin Park (yes, I like that rap/metal/neo-metal band that everyone else seem to hate) to realise that. I've always kinda thought about the psychiatry when hearing that song, or maybe it was another one, but that's not the point.
I might not truly belong in such places, especially not now when I'm feeling much better, it's just a feeling of comfort really. Maybe I just like to be taken care of, or that I always manage to meet friends in such places. The only exception was the first time with BUP*. Though in that place I hit off with a person from the staff instead. Can't even remember his name now. I think he wasn't Swedish and spoke with an accent. Oh well, can't expect me to remember everything.
*Psychiatry department for children and under-age people.
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