My love for disorder

I feel disconnected, distant, distracted today. I've done online quizzes, scrolled at forums, washed some clothes and written two poems. But I can't get into anything, it's like I'm looking at the world through a mist, detached from myself and everything around me. Like some sort of very mild dissociation, or rather just more disconnected than usual. Still thinking about the DID thing, realising my curiosity is killing me. Well, not in the literal sense of course, but with me it can be hard to tell, I guess. Wrote a thread on the DID-forum asking for opinions about my situation, will be interesting to see what they think about that. I mean there's a lot of indicators that I have that, but also a lot that doesn't fit. We're getting by quite okay now, me and Anna, so I suppose this is just me doing my own psycho analysis again. Dying to know the truth (again, not literally). This is most likely not related to my alter egos I mentioned in a previous entry though, cause that's just my imagination running wild, but Anna... she's not a creation, well not a conciously made one at least.

Where was I? Yeah I'm tired and can barely focus on what I'm writing right now. I have no energy what so ever, less than normal, and that is very little, as I suppose you can imagine. If I had any less energy I would be asleep. Trying to watch a movie I haven't seen before but with my attention span I'll probably not finish watching until the dawn. Wanted to see another movie depicting a person with DID. Of those listed on Wikipedia I've seen Sybil, Fight Club, The Machinist, The Number 23, Shutter Island, Sucker Punch, Black Swan, The Jacket, Secret Window, Birdie and Waking Madison which is not mentioned there. The latter is one of my new favourite movies, though it's not so popular. I recognise the actress who plays the main character, but I can't place her. She looks just like Thirteen (Remy Hadley) in the House M.D. series, but's it's not the same actress. So I thought I should add another of these kind of movies to my collection. I love watching movies depicting people with mental disorders! Yeah, I suppose I'm a bit obsessed with that. And no I can't aim for being a psychologist, there's no way in hell I'm gonna get accepted to that kind of education with my grades (or lack there of). Behaviour scientist though, is at least possible, but I have to get mathematic course B then, which will and has been, a hell to study. Though I suppose that I shouldn't give up just yet.

Listening to FGFC820 and trying to decide when I should go to bed. How much of the night can I lose? Or rather, how much of the nights do I really need? Cause I need to be awake daytime as well, and appearently my body wants me to sleep for 12 hours straight, so I only get 12 hours to be awake. So I really need to put those hours on a time that is useful for me and functional. I hate math...