It's been like that for a really long time though. I mean like the last fifteen years or so. Maybe I am just more sensitive or whatever due to the hormones, but things have gotten worse lately. Well, I'm still coping. No major delusions yet. Though, it seems the front porch to my parents house is suddenly full of lice crawling allover me and my diary when I sit there. I mentioned it to my parents and they thought it was very strange... so, yeah.
And I'm hearing stuff all the time, and I don't know if it's tourists passing by on the road or if it's all in my head. Very annoying, but that's all there is. It's not dangerous, though a little scary perhaps. I'm constantly afraid of mold whenever I eat something, always looking over my shoulder to see if anything around me is talking or making any noises. (It's very inconvenient not being able to localise sounds AND hearing voices). So I'm basically a bundle of nerves, but not all out insane, yet.
Went outside for a smoke or three, and I felt like I was high on nicotine. Incoherent thoughts just running from my head to my diary as I tried to tell myself to calm down and breathe. Perhaps I'm a little stressed out. Dad is making barbaque something for dinner and that usually goes with something a little extra to drink with. Just one of those days I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not hyper or manic, just anxious and a little paranoid. Okay, quite very paranoid frankly. I'm jumping out of my slippers when a cat passes by and freaking out when my hair tickles me. Some food and a glass of wine or beer will hopefully bring me down a notch.
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