Nervousness

Ended up in a little role play in WoW. Another cute male blood elf hitting on me. Too cute to say no, and my character is after all gay, so I figured why not. Nothing heavy of course, also since I think ERP (erotic role play) isn't allowed in WoW. Didn't stop me before though. Rule breaking, should be careful with that... Yeah I did that with a female night elf once, who hooked up with two male humans in a cabin in the woods. That was years ago and I'm way more mature now. Promise.

Strange though, if this person would ask me what my real gender was, would I tell him or her the truth? My guesses is that it's a guy, but I'm not sure, cause they haven't told me. Most WoW-players are male and most male WoW-characters are controlled by male players. But not all of course. And why would I lie? It could be a gay guy, or someone that for some reason must like role playing a gay character, so would it really matter what gender I am? And no, I don't mean to tell them about the trans part, just that I'm a guy in that case. *Gotta stop over thinking it will be the death of me*

But once I've got something in my head... it's hard to let go and start thinking about something else. It's fairly easy to talk to that person, I mean I don't sit for half an hour trying to figure out what to reply to a message. I kinda like them and hope I'll see more of them in game.

I kinda stumbled upon another player in a guild before, like weeks ago (I don't remember if I've already mentioned this), and we added each other on Real ID, but then she just disappeared. I'm awful at starting conversations and I wanted to, but I just couldn't. Too frigging shy. Seriously, what's wrong with me? It's so easy to talk to people but I can't even muster writing "hello" to them in chat. I'm confident enough using English, so it's not a problem, though I don't always understand all the abbreviations and inside gaming words, and it's embarrassing to ask so I just go silent.

Okay, previous question is answered. He's a guy. And gay, serious role player with six years of WoW experience. I think I've found a nice catch. Hopefully I can live up to his expectations in RP, whatever those may be. He thought I was British, now that's one hell of a compliment! I think I'm having a WoW crush or something... Am I overly proud over my English skills? I hope not, don't want it to get to my head, but it has surely become an interest of mine.

Okay, this dude is just awesome. He's a Hungarian, 24 year old who studies history and also has writers ambitions. He's so sweet and am I flirting? Of course I'm still in love with my not so responsive love over seas, but this must be something different. I mean we've only known each other for like an hour or so and I don't even know what he looks like. And he doesn't know me very well either, cause I'm careful with spilling my guts, you know. That hasn't been very successful in my past. I told him I was a gay guy, which is the truth, isn't it? At least that's what I'm comfortable sharing at the time being.

I smoke more when I get nervous. Damn, not good for my health. Already up at five cigarettes today. No, make that seven. Really wanted to go to the gym today, but so it happens that it's closed on Saturdays. Maybe it's for the better, my chest hurts more today. Not gonna buy a gym card immediately though, but just try it out, you know. See if I might like it there. So tomorrow I think I might swing by. Also I'm gonna force myself to not smoke perhaps two hours or so before, to clear my lungs a little bit.

Am I kinda popular today or just extra chatty? Perhaps those two go together a little bit. Chatting everywhere and get comments and answers in return. Yes, seems logical.