Mind shatter

I'm listening to "My World" by Colony 5 and trying to figure out what to do. I just ate a sandwich so I might need for it to land in me before I go to the gym. Should decide if I want to buy a gym card as well.

I smoke too much again. Hoping it won't be too much of a problem when working out. Like how much air do I need exactly? And there's still room for air in my lungs, obviously, or I wouldn't be sitting here writing nonsense right now.

I haven't had any breathing problems for some time now, since before I took that month long break from smoking. And when or if I get breathing problems they're not very serious. Like it can hurt in my chest and it can be hard to take deep breaths, and then it passes after a day or two.

I'm trying to control this anxiety I have over going to the gym. It's not easy. I have a lot of reasons for my anxiety, but they're things I don't need to fear and worry about. I mean it's not like it's helping to be have anxiety. Is it ever?

I can't stop thinking about an episode of Torchwood I watched yesterday, or well very early this morning. It's one of my favourite episodes, and it's about three people who went through a time rift on their flight trip in 1953 and ended up in the present time, which was around 2003 when the series were made. Can't stop thinking about how lost they were, that they didn't fit in, and mostly I think about one of the three who was a middle aged man who lost his wife many years ago and his son was senile. Such an intense episode that is. Everyone is bisexual in Torchwood by the way, I kinda like that.

My mind is on different things at the same time and I need to get going now. What's holding me back, do I even want to know?