A space for weird people

I just remembered something. When I was at Läkarvillan today, early afternoon, I got this kinda quirky tips from a guy there. He said that somehow ingesting lactic acid would completely take care of one's acne. Like okay, I know I've got some skin problems and it's kinda obvious, but come on. That wasn't very sleek.

But yeah, that must have been the craziest piece of advice I've gotten in a long time. And then he asked around what you can do to fix a red nose (which he had) and I was this close to tell him to dip it in bleach. Just that close, but I managed to restrain myself.

Then there was this other guy, or what to say, older man might be more suitable, who kinda came on to me. Like his hands were just a little too close to my thighs. He's 80+ and completely creepy and I can't understand a word he says. I was gone from that place quite ASAP. The men there do tend to creep me out more than the women, but not exclusively so.

Perhaps it's stupid or weird, but I sometimes think that whenever some older man is hitting on me I get that feeling that he thinks I'm a girl. Yes that tends to happen quite a lot, I've noticed. Too bad none of those men have been interesting in the right way, cause I don't mind a little age difference. However, it's either self awareness or dysphoria, I think. Or general insecurity, as I know many older people tend to misgender me more often than those younger than around 50. It makes me nervous if I think someone is doubting what gender I am, even if I have no reason to worry.

I don't think I really hang out with anyone of my own age on this island. They're all at least 20 years older for some reason. Nothing wrong with that, but yeah, I feel like a lost kid a lot. Especially since many of them are like motherly/fatherly caring of me. And I seriously don't need that crap. Maybe I do need a father figure though. Just maybe.

Cause yeah I do have biological father still living with and married to my mother, but we have never been close really. A part of me kinda misses that sometimes. So I'm not really looking for a father figure, I just happen to end up in the same rooms with such men quite a lot. So maybe I'm just sort of drawn to them because of that, I mean.

Though at Läkarvillan there are no such men, cause a bit of a thing we all there seem to have in common is that we're not so independent/sovereign. We're special needs kinda people and the state pays for the house so that we can go there to talk and bond or something like that. Honestly I'm not sure what good it can do. But I have a sensation that I'm not the only one there not able to either study or hold a job. And that's what it's there for, or at least so I've heard.