Love and frustration

I once said I'll wait for K forever, and I still stand by my words. I might be obsessed but I love him unconditionally with all of my heart and soul. Nothing and no one can stop me from feeling that way, not even Greg. Though I miss him too. I believe K is the love of my life, even if it never becomes mutual. Even if it kills me.

I'm not so inhibited anymore, don't stop myself from being the first to like a picture of his, answer a post or reblog five of his posts in as many seconds. I think he knows. And I don't want to hold back, I want him to know, to feel appreciated and that he is loved. That I'm still here, and I want him to know that he can trust me that I'll be honest with him. Therefore I can't hold back, cause it will be like withholding the truth. At least it feels that way.

It's hard to focus on WoW, and it keeps on glitching all the time. All I can think of is K and Greg. And now I can't let go of either of them. And I'm romantically and sexually frustrated a lot. It's been over a year since I last felt another human being's touch. And I seriously haven't even hugged anyone since October. I might go do something wacky like last time again, though I know I shouldn't.

The risks are a bit high, that I might end up trying to please a complete psycho or something. Not that I would have something against that, but still. Psychos have the best sex, damn it. Erhm, in my opinion that is. So naturally I'm drawn to them. They aren't so inhibited and they don't mind that I'm a wreck myself. They're not so picky just like me.

Cause I'm not picky at all. I can't be, cause there just aren't that many who would consider being with me, you know. My standards for sex are so low they barely even exist. All I demand is that they don't try to kill me, are fairly clean and understand a no. The rest really doesn't matter. They don't have to be attractive, gender or disabilities don't matter, they don't have to be kind or even speak a language that I can understand. A "no" can be said without words, you know.

But on the other hand, my standards for a partner are pretty damn high. At least these days. I wouldn't just fall in love and head over heals with someone who doesn't meet my standards. So K, if you're reading this, which I know that you do, you completely meet my high standards and you're frigging perfect. Remember that.