Poison

I just write and nothing good comes out of it today. Write, write, write until my fingers hurt. Some of it I could probably post, but it's profoundly negative and depressive so I think I'll skip that. Mostly cause I don't wanna read it through and once again get those thoughts into my head.

Still playing a lot of WoW as well. Finally got up fishing and the ability to track fish so that I could complete a few daily quests. And got cooking up to 600 as well. Yet another few daily's completed. I now have a baby dragon serpent to care for in the Pandaria zones. It's so adorable and I can play catch with it and feed it honey. Which I will do every day for a while. Maybe some new quests will come up as well, we'll see.

Still also questing in Vashj'ir on the side, and also levelling up Archaeology, which I'm at 246 for the moment. It's kinda tedious though, and not very rewarding. Though I got a cute little skeleton raptor pet. It's following me around everywhere now, a little company. Woah, that really makes me seem lonely...

The thing is, even when I come up with a good piece of text to post, I rarely finish writing it until it starts crawling in my skin and I have to go back to WoW again.

The thought about death has been poisoning my mind since around mid afternoon. Not actually about suicide, but death and dying in general. What happens when you die, to you and those you leave behind. The consequences. What do I really know about death?

And my own death... I don't wanna think about that, but yet I do. I always come to that when thoughts about my future come up. Cause death is all I see, with sickness and sadness and madness. Those dark thoughts like a veil of shadow over my eyes and everything that was bright turns dark. I wonder why I continuously make myself feel bad.

Those dark thoughts are like a train. Forceful, loud and hard to stop. Not impossible, but yeah, hard to stop. They seem to live their own lives, a natural force by itself, taking over me, forcing me to their bidding. I try not to think about it, I really do. Yeah, this is me trying that... better post this before it gets too long.