Sitting in the darkness and typing on my new keyboard with glowing red keys. Focusing on breathing but my attention span snaps in two and all I can think of is him and him and yeah, you get it. For somehow indirect non-conversations makes my heart jump up to my throat which makes it significantly hard to breathe. At least that's my theory of what's going on inside me. Or it could just be lovesickness taking a leap of faith every now and then. Jumping out of my chair and letting out a shriek of joy for every little notification I get from him on some random social network site.
You could probably imagine how I felt when I finally met him in real life. I've never before felt anything like it! So. Damn. Powerful. It felt like I was falling from a very high spot, overwhelmed by... I honestly don't know how to describe it. Out of this world. I was shivering, trembling, shaking, sweating, blushing, felt light as a feather - all at once and so incredibly strong I almost thought I was melting, like snow or candle wax exposed to strong sun light.
He is my light, he really is. My light so far far away, but even the stars glow from longer distances so why shouldn't he be able to?
Enough ranting for now. I admit it, I just think it's fun writing with my new keyboard. In the dark! I've missed the darkness, being around and in real darkness, in the most literal sense of course. But I'm cold, and I don't wanna put on another sweater. I want him to be here and hold me.
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