Warm in the cold

I'm trying out a new method for staying awake. Coldness. With windows open for a few hours I've gotten the temperature in my living room down to 14 degrees. Open my robe and take off a sweater. It's quite awful. I think it's working though. The shivering and shaking keeps me from dozing off, or rather being close to. I haven't actually dozed off yet.

I don't shiver, I don't feel cold at all. Just in my hands. I'm sitting in a t-shirt in 14 degrees, the November wind from outside blows in my face, and I don't feel anything, but warm. What's wrong with me? Is this even my body? Something changed, about two hours ago. I almost dozed off and got these weird images and phrases in my head, rapidly moving, as I was still aware of the waken world. I shook out of it, but after that the world felt different, looked different. It still does. Am I asleep? Is this some sort of dissociation? No... I broke my record, I've been up passed 80 hours. For real this time, no miscalculation. Who knows what the hell is going on with my mind, or why I can't feel cold at all when I should be freezing.

I've stopped feeling pain as well. That isn't a good sign either, but it's nice not to hurt any more. If it was winter right now, I bet I could have just walked outside wearing almost nothing and lied down in the snow. I would have, just to see if I could feel it. I don't feel tired either. Too weirded out to even notice such a trivial feeling as "tired" perhaps. I can't understand this, no matter how hard I try. I've pushed myself harder than ever before, and it has led me to a new place. Gotten off a station later with this train. I don't recognise myself, even in the mirror. There's something about my eyes, they look different. I can't really explain what it is I see. Some kind of tense darkness that I can't specify.