Phobias

I was just lingering around on the otherkin forum when I spotted a thread about weird phobias, and it kind of inspired me to post also here what I posted in that thread. I have no "official diagnosis" on any of my phobias, but they are very real to me, and I think that is reason enough. And they are kind of weird! Or at least, so I've heard.

The most specific, rare phobia I have is the roots of plants. Not the plants themselves, only the roots. It's hard to explain what makes me think of this as a phobia, but what goes for the rest and all of my phobias is that cold string of chills running through my body when I'm exposed to them. Usually followed by feelings of dizziness, nausea or anxiety and a disgust so strong I puke or almost faint. So gardening isn't really my thing :P I don't think many people notice I have this phobia, and I don't usually have to deal with it either.

The one that most makes my life hard is my dysmorphophobia - fear of distortion, especially distorted faces. Due to this I am afraid of mirrors cause I'm afraid I'd see my own face distorted in some way or a completely other person. I can look in mirrors obviously, but not without that awful daunting feeling first. Another meaning of this phobia is body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), which I also quite certainly have and due to that I also avoid mirrors, among other things. This of course has a lot do with me being transsexual, but as far as I've noticed I seem to hate my body a lot more than most other transsexuals I've met. I'm very happy with the way my face looks, hands and feet, but everything else is just awful. This literally bothers me every day, every minute, for all the time I'm aware of my body's existence.

Another phobia I have is the one of stairs, worst are those really steep, and of falling in stairs. Most people who knows about this thinks it's really weird and funny. I remember two horrible occasion I've been through related to this. The first one (I think I was five) was when I climbed up on the loft in the stable where I grew up and I just couldn't get down from there. The only way down was through a firm ladder and I just froze up, terrified. It was particularly that ladder that scared me somehow, from that day on. My parents and little sister thought I was silly. I had nightmares about it for years. The other occasion was when I was in my last school in Uppsala on a field trip. I was doing my best to go down a very long and steep stair in an old castle, to the brink of puking and fainting and my class mates laughed at me. Not so fun for me. Normal stairs in modern buildings are okay though, as long as there's a handrail and that I'm not rushed by someone, and they have to have wide steps and they can't be open. So okay, stairs always freak me out to some degree, but I'm working on it!

This is quite common, but I'm also absolutely terrified of heights, to the point that I can't even stand on a firm chair without feeling very dizzy, nauseous and afraid I will fall. But it's not the fall itself I fear, it's basically just standing on a higher spot looking down. And in my case, a few feet is enough. This also impacts my life rather much, but as long as I don't have to change light bulbs in the ceiling and stuff, I get by rather fine. I'm not exactly sure what caused this phobia, but it might have something to do with that loft in that stable too.

So... there's a lot of weird thing I fear that I can't really make sense of. I think I might have more phobias than these four, but thankfully I can't recall them right now. Especially that dysmorphophobia seem to include a lot of things! When I think about it, my fear of wax statues does, for example. And rot, mold, why I'm horrible scared of being injured in an accident, and that list can go on forever... But this is the basics!