My two obsessions

This is general and mostly directed to people who are not my friends but that I have to deal with anyway. I wish those people would just:
- stop complaining about me smoking. I'm not gonna quit, period.
- stop asking if I have eaten.
- stop assuming my self harming is in any way life-threatening. (I've been at it for eight years so I think I'd know when it's getting dangerous).
- stop assuming I don't lose weight cause I'm eating unhealthy, cause at this point even a body builder would ask me to chill and have a cookie.

Just made myself happy finding out my weight is down to 74.9 kg! This is what keeps me going, this is all that matters right now. That and the writing, of course. Those are my two obsessions right now.

The endless flow of words that become text. Everything I remember that I scale down a notch if I'm uncomfortable going into detail. And the more I write about what I remember, the more I seem to remember about things I thought was long forgotten. Like when I thought I've forgotten almost everything from the school years when I was ten through thirteen. That I didn't have enough to fill out a whole chapter. Five pages later I realise I remember more about that time than everything up until then. This is very interesting! When I wrote about basically all my school years up until I was fifteen, I've felt every single moment as if I was there now, one by one in a streaming flow. It's really a new way for me to experience my life. And I think I kinda like it. A normal dosage of everything in the right order, and I realise most crazy things I've done and been through was in perfect timing and syncronisity. Kinda amazing!

I think this is really gonna be some interresting, though kinda heavy, reading. I will select a few of my friends to read this through (yes, you have to!) to get some input, feedback and reflection. I mean, I can't just write a 300 pages book and send it to different publishers without having anyone else reading it through first. No matter how many times I read and correct it, I will still need others opinions. As simple as that.