A bad day

Burned myself with cigarettes again. It's the best quick fix pain cause burn wounds are one of the most painful things, and it lasts for days.

Then I took some pills. Just wanna kill this pain inside me, I'll do anything to make it go away, and I know of no other way.

Guess I'll end up hospitalized in Visby as well, after all. The thought has crossed my mind, that I would fall apart again so that others would have pick up the pieces again. I'm such a mess. We'll see what happens though. I'm not so keen on living in a steralized ward locked up without my computer, have a snoring room mate and stupid rules that I would break ten times a day, being force fed and all that hassle. I mean there are better ways to spend the summer.

I'm shaking. Don't know if it's because it's freezing in here, the pills, the complete lack of food today, or something else - or all the above. Listening to my "guilty pleasure" music: Tokio Hotel. Shame on me, I know! But they're good, and besides, I can listen to whatever the fuck I wan't. Guilty as charged or not.

So this me having a bad day... imagine what a really bad day is like. Or by the way, don't.