19:25
My heart is beating so fast and I don't know why. It's making me dizzy and sweaty. It's been doing so since I woke up about an hour ago. Keep that cell phone handy in case things get out of hand...
20:45
Decided to weight myself everyday starting yesterday. So... technically I was at 76,4 kg yesterday. Today I'm at 76,1. This is going to be so weird... can't believe I'm really doing this. But it makes me happy when I step on that scale and the numbers are dropping and my clothes are getting too big. It's kinda addictive! I'm gonna try to not completely fill this blog with numbers of kilograms and calories and exact what and how much I eat, cause I have a feeling that's more interesting to me than it is to others... who doesn't have an eating disorder...
Shit... my life just keeps on taking turns to worse. But this is good too, right? I mean I kinda need to lose weight. I've gotta get in shape, and it's always been like this for me. Always going for the outer extremes. Either I'm starving myself or eat myself to obesity, there's never any middle grounds. Damn borderline personality, I hate you!
21:17
My heart has finally started to slow down, though it's still beating too fast. It's probably due to a lot of things: dehydration, lack of food, lack of exercise, my fucked up sleeping pattern, and even smoking excessively, perhaps.
Gotta drink more water, goddamnit, but I just keep forgetting. I'm going to fill up a jug of water and place on my desk to sip from every minute, right now. What the fuck was I thinking yesterday? I can't go around dehydrated just because of the thrill of it! That's stupid! I'm stupid, sometimes...
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