Thinking about thoughts

Think I'm gonna start adding pictures here every now and then! This is me (in case you didn't know) today, sitting by the computer with an all so present cigarette in my hand. Behind me is my book shelf and the walls aren't quite that pink/brown in reality. They are more wine red but look purple in some light. Very delightful indeed.

My grandmother had so many razor blades that I'm starting to wonder if she also self harmed. But they're mine now, and they've lasted for so many years. These old, beautiful razor blades that doesn't seem to be sold in Sweden anymore. I won't upload a picture, cause of the triggering factors. And because I'm lazy.

How I stay in the present: I focus on what is shitty right now, instead of what was shitty up until now.

Writing about my OCD I had during my childhood, in my autobiography. Been a couple of weeks since I last wrote anything there. Started to write in English today and then realized: oh yeah, right, I'm writing this in Swedish! How stupid of me! But every other Swedish word ended up spelled the English way instead... Like "perfect" instead of "perfekt", stuff like that. I haven't written anything in swedish for weeks, except for a sentence here and there. Even though my thoughts are running haywire 24/7, thinking isn't my strongest side.