Me: Fuck off, I'm fed up with you! Why can't you just leave me alone?
Anna: I'm in the same position as you.
Me: No you're not. You chose me, I didn't chose you.
My thoughts are running on empty. I just wanna go to sleep, just wanna sleep. I just want a rest from Anna and all the fucked up shit in our relationship. Tired of her constant presence. When I eat, write, shower, talk to others, chosing what clothes to wear or making dinner. Everytime I lit a cigarette, everytime I dye my hair or cut my nails. Everything I do or say, she's always gonna have her say.
I'm tired. I'm tired of years and years of this shit. 15 fucking years. I can't even remember what it was like before she came into my life. I want to know, I want to know what life could be without her. To only hear my own thoughts, to only feel my own feelings, making my own decisions. To not have to think of the "we" in every fucking situation, always asking of her permission or getting harassed for weeks or sometimes even years if I did something she opposed to. When she's demanding, threatens, taunts, insults and keeps up an insane arguement for hours.
I would miss some things though. Like how she comes up with ideas I could never have figured out, solves a problem I have given up on, comfort me when I'm sad or tell me what to do when I don't know what to do.
No. It's time for a change.
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