Tonight I've written 12 pages in my autobiography, felt really good and productive! As the morning came I got a little tired but my mind was still racing in a pace I could't keep upp with. I've just cleaned the apartment for 4 hours without a break or even being able to sit down in two minutes for a cigarette. I'm crawling out of my skin. I think I'm manic.
It's so typical. I couldn't even feel happy and energetic for a few days without it being a symptom of some annoying mental illness. If I had only known that these days were me being hypomanic and know, tonight and today it's escalated to a full blown manic episode. I think it's my meds fucking me up, cause I've never been this way before. Ever. Instead of making my emotions, ups and downs more neutralized, it has increased to a dangerous extreme. I'm fucking bipolar now, is that even a registered side effect of fucking MOOD STABILIZERS?!
Sorry about the excessive cursing and caps, but I'm a little upset right now. My doctor is on summer vacation and will be back in August and it's Friday. Jay... If this gets any worse I'll have to check myself into a hospital. I don't know what to do with myself.
Gonna take one of those working here for a walk to the grocery store to buy some food and go to the bank and pick up a package that has arrived. I kinda think I need someone to stop me from going completely crazy and buy everything I see or just frigging crawl on the walls. Haya!
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