Finding a middle ground

How will I ever find peace in life? My mind is so fucked up I can't even explain how I'm feeling cause it's such a mess and constantly changing. One moment I feel fine, things are going okay and my thoughts are lighter. Next moment I'm judging myself, hating who I am and tear the hole place to pieces. Then yet another moment I'm so happy and energetic and before I know it I feel life ain't worth living at all and I just wanna shut down and disappear. I'm completely worn out and just wish I could get some kind of genuine rest from myself, just for a little while. Can't I just die a little? Some sort of comatose, perhaps?