I'm concidering becoming a satanist. Before you roll your eyes or shrug and think this is about devil-worship and and a stupid excuse to perform weird rituals with pentagrams and starting cutting myself again... that isn't exactly what I have in mind. Far from it.
Many seem to think that's what it's all about. Blood, vampirism, slaughter, evil, death-obsession and go totally haywire with goth and death metal associated lifestyles for complete maniacs without a brain. First of all, there's a significant difference between satanism and devil-worship.
A true satanist shunnes God and what his religions values as good, such as their views on sins, prayers and forgiveness. As opposed to turning the other cheek, hit them back! Eye for an eye, be good to those who deserve it, and be mean to those who deserve that. Give in for the sins as they give you pleasure and you shouldn't feel guilty about that. It's not about being promiscous or evil, it's about not denying your preferences (sexual or not) but never impose them onto others. Treat others as they treat you. You can't love everyone, that is just absurd.
In many ways it's about accepting oneself and others the way we are, that we all want different things in life and that is fine. To not be gullible and let others push you around. I think it's perfect for me!
But then why not just live like that, you don't have to be a satanist to indulge in your harmless desires? Well, technically no, but it runs deeper than that. Though this is the LaVeyism and they only see the Devil as a symbol, they are their own Gods. I don't really understand how that could even be concidered a religion, but hey what do I know! Taoism is also a religion and they don't have any Gods to worship or pray to either.
There are different kinds of satanism of course, and I haven't completely decided which kind I'll go for, but I know that I see Satan as a God and I will choose to follow him. As of now, I have already shunned the christian God (why the hell didn't I do that a long time ago?!) cause he's given me nothing but lies and deceit. Satan isn't by definition evil, most of the time, but just has different standards. Is it evil to enjoy sex or being jelous of someone who has a better life? Is it evil to want more than you already have, or wanting to beat up someone who wronged you? I think not. Not in my world. I won't passively sit by and let every asshole I meet punch me to the ground just because some up-tight crowd thinks that's the "good" thing to do. I wanna live out loud!
So I'm leaning towards theistic satanism, though it seems a bit... messy. Many different sects and some of them seem to have interesting opinions, and a lot of them are just crap. And I'm not really into that sect thingy. As I said nothing is for sure yet. I have A LOT of research to do and I'm gonna go through every possible angle and detail fifty-something times in my head and discuss it with others before I make my final decision.
I know I've been chasing religions practically all my life, and many has asked me why I so desperately want to find myself a religion. It's actually kind of simple. I have my strong beliefs and I want to have a lifestyle that goes well with them. Something consistant in my life I can rely on. Call it a desperate chase for a perfection I will never find, an unecessary need, or whatever, I just think it might do me some good. A way to untie my chaos or at least find a way to live with it. It's the same reason we want to find a community where we belong, a clothingstyle, a profession, or anything really. I think it's almost a basic thing in being human or the like, to want to belong to something where you can find comfort and reassurement, whether it be religion or not.
No comments:
Post a Comment