Opinions

Just got back home after a visit to Läkarvillan again, that daily activities centre or something, you know. That place where they put all the mentally dysfunctional people who can't/don't work/go to school so that they can have something to do. Sorry, I mean we, calculating in myself as well.

So I brought a new piece of embroidery after finally deciding what to do, but I really wasn't fishing for comments. Not in the least. But got them anyway. I had to literally bite my lip and kick my feet to not get snappy and tell them to lay off. I don't really know what the hell I'm doing there, cause I'm not so much for talking and I can sew stuff at home.

Sometimes I try the talking part though, but I strongly feel that my opinion - however kind, gentle, honest or bland - is not wanted there. Perhaps it's just me, but when they talk over my head and completely ignore me over and over there just comes a point when I decide to not open my mouth again. And people wonder why I'm so quiet. So here it is, in white on black: I am not heard even when I talk.

And with that said, why should I even listen to what they have to say? I heard somewhere someone said that most people just want to hear themselves talk in conversations. And being different, in which way I mean being a person who rather listen and discuss other people's problems than my own, it's easy to get run over when I actually want to share something.

From that angle I have two options: talk louder to get my damn point over with, or shut up and space out. It's easier to do the latter, cause how fun is it to force one's opinion upon someone who obviously doesn't want to hear it, just so you can have your say? Sorry, I don't work that way. It's a form of self respect, cause I'm not gonna sink to their level. They who apparently think their own opinions are more important than anyone else's and yet provoke others to share. I'll let you think about that if you recognise yourself in either position.

Got off track. Läkarvillan. I just don't know what the hell I think about that place. I'd rather sit by myself basically anywhere than share a room, or even the same sofa, with those people there. My too damn wild imagination takes me to imaginary places I never want to see again. The empty conversations that brings me down, annoys me or makes me want to disappear. The forced upon politeness, routines, schedules, all the things that I despise. But I don't hate the place, I really don't.