In a fake world

I'm in this weird state where the world doesn't feel real at all, my feelings seem to be projected from somewhere else, my thoughts aren't mine. It all seems fake, like a lucid dream, a set on a theater stage or like watching a film. I'm drifting, just barely aware of the atmosphere I'm in. I'm sort of numb, out of touch and I don't believe in what I'm registrating through my senses. It's very hard to describe, really. When nothing seems real, not even the air in my lungs, I'm at the same time scared, calm and intrigued. Scared, cause I can't tell what this is, if this is an alternate reality or something. Calm, cause nothing can hurt me now. Intrigued, cause of all the things I can get away with. I'd better just stay in doors though, but it's tempting to go outside and do something I wouldn't have done in the real world.

When I'm like this, it usually doesn't last that very long, or maybe it does. A couple of days at most. Last time was during a stay at my family's place. I said and did a few things I wouldn't have done otherwise, but nothing big. It was so weird, they were the same, but still completely different. It's been more of this lately for some reason. So a part me does know this isn't gonna last, it will pass and I'll be pushed back into the real world again. But what I can't be sure of is whether those strange things I say and do in this fake world will have any consequences when I get back to the real one. A sane person might tell me that there is no "fake" world that one can just drift into and out of, but how can you know for sure if you haven't been both here and there?

By posting this, I'm not sure this is actually gonna be posted in the real world. This other one that I'm in is imitating it so well. I guess I'll find out when I get back.