Accustomed

I really think I might have Schizophrenia. It sounds stupid to say it somehow though, but it makes sense on so many levels. Even that old saying that people with these symptoms usually don't want to talk about them with their doctors. It could also be that I just experience some of the traits, that wouldn't be enough for a full diagnosis. I knew I had Borderline for a long time before I brought it up with my doctor and got that diagnosis, but I also cheated on the tests to get it.

Now I'm having second thoughts about it, that it might actually have been a misdiagnosis. Or maybe I'm just thinking that cause DBT really wasn't my thing. To keep up a lie about symptom I don't have during therapy is just... a what the hell is wrong with me -type of thing. Compulsive lying can be really fucking hard sometimes, but then again, half the time I'm not even aware of that is what I'm doing

So I've been kind of certain of my new self diagnosis for almost a month now, but what I'm sort of scared of is that I'll grow accustomed to it and probably weave into another weird type of delusion over time, and maybe even start lying to prove to others that I'm right. Please hit me in my fucked up head with a baseball bat if you catch me doing that, okay?