It's been even harder to concentrate when I'm out in public or with other people. I can't concentrate on what other people say cause Anna's voice and Vargyl's are so vivid and real. I suppose I come off as more absent minded that truth to be told. The war in my head is increasing my imaginary headache. Cause what else is it supposed to be? No painkillers works. Ever.
What am I supposed to do when seeing my shrink(s)? I can't tell them about my most important problems. And how can I get better by witholding such important information from them? Should I just stop seeing them altogether. I hide so much it feels like the meetings are becoming meaningless. I'm afraid. I'm so afraid of what my hallucinations and possible delusions might mean and that they actually are getting worse. I'm having tactile hallucinations almost as much as I'm hearing the voices now. Those are even worse to deal with. Keep telling myself there are no worms in my eyes and I should stop digging in them when that occurs, that nothing's crawling around inside me but I can't sit still or stop trying to scrats it away, and during the days I'm completely unable to feel any pain at all it's just all in my head and I should stop injuring myself to find out why I can't feel it. Those two are the worst, but I notice things that aren't there with all of my five senses.
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