I'm so tired today and I feel like I'm just thinking in circles. That I keep coming back to the same thoughts and I'm not getting anywhere. Can barely keep my eyes open despite two long naps and litres of coffee. It's utterly useless.
I just keep having these imaginary conversations in my mind and they're so intense they make my heart race faster. I just don't know how or when I should tell my mother about this. I need to talk it through with my psychologist first, maybe she'll have some advice. I don't know. But she's still sick and I can't talk to her any time soon.
Writing just isn't going so well for me right now. It's not that I lack the words, I lack entire descriptions, I lack pictures in my mind and my feelings and thoughts are poking in every direction. It seems it got worse the later it got as I could write perfectly fine earlier today. Now the words seem empty, useless and pointless for no apparent reason.
I started writing a poem about the pain of being in love with K but then I realised I did not want to think about it and I would not want to share that anywhere, so I just scrapped it. Now not even sugar can give me a few minutes rush. Nothing can penetrate my tiredness and I'm just exhausted 24/7 no matter what I do. I need to sleep for a week.
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