Generalising

I've been borrowing K's clothes at some points when we've met but I've never actually gotten anything of his, I suddenly thought of when last summer flashed before my eyes. We used to be the same size, but I think maybe I'm smaller now. I don't care about that though, I mean what size he is. Cause he's just too damn handsome no matter what.

I realise that I don't usually write or talk about K like that, I mean, really about him, because I don't want to say too much that will make you realise that "oh fuck, it's him!" or something like that. But yeah, we're a little similar in size, have the same shoe size and he's slightly taller than me. Has dark hair, blueish eyes and the most beautiful smile on Earth. That could be a very general description as even saying his hair colour would be a dead give away, because it's dyed and rare.

I really do like his hair though, and I remember when that kind of stuff was important to me. Back in my teenage years, I dreamed of being with long haired men especially (although also long haired women) but lately I've come to appreciate almost every kinds of hair lengths and a lot of different styles. Long, short, medium, natural, dyed, abiding the norm, alternative, masculine, feminine, anything really.

So, what I really just don't want is for you to be able to figure who K is based on my description of his looks, so I keep it general, that it could be a description of a lot of people out there. Only 3 or so very close people to me know exactly who he is. I mean, who it is that I'm madly in love with. They know his name and or have seen him or even know him personally.

It's not just about trust, it's about not letting the whole world know before he knows, and also I don't want to make him uncomfortable with the idea that a lot of people knowing my feelings for him. I don't know why that would possibly make him uncomfortable though, it's just a precaution of sorts. And people don't need to know, right?

I'm just so damn protective when it comes to him, although not overly so. I mean, I would never stop him from doing anything he wants for whatever reason or anything. I just don't want him to come to any sort of harm because of me. I want to protect him from myself.

It's 39 days, and yes every passing day I'm gonna update that number just to let you know that I'm still counting. I don't think he's gonna start talking to me on his own again, I think I must be the one to take the initiative. If anyone can forget that I'm shy, it's him. I've been taking a lot of initiative without being too pushy or clingy (I sincerely hope) when it comes to him.