"Are you depressed? Do you have anxiety?" Will you stop guessing your way to it when I've told you over and over that I don't want to talk about it?! Apparently not. I am so tired of the crew.
I just thought of the perfect pseudonym for K in my book: Kaj. Because it's simple, starts with a K and somehow I just think it would almost kinda suit him. Yes, I've gotten as far into my writings as about him, and he will take up space in 2, possibly 3 chapters. I've loved him for exactly 2 years in 12 days. So he shows up in the chapter about 2013, covers a lot of the one about 2014 and if I do write a chapter for 2015 he will obviously be there too.
It feels like love shapes me, every heartbreak and unrequited love story that's ever been in my life. I don't know if I want to continue with that thought. I'm tired and restless at the same time again, keep changing position in my chair and can't decide what music to listen to. My thoughts are taking me nowhere and my mind goes blank for annoying, short moments as I try to focus on my writing.
I was at school today and it was kinda boring. Just listening to other people talking and nothing to say for myself. I just couldn't help but feeling how much I dislike people. Humans, crawling everywhere, talking, talking, talking. I don't even care if they shut up, I'm only annoyed when I have to listen or say something myself. Just one last day of actual school now though. Then it's just the voluntary school once a week throughout the summer. I will however not prioritise that.
Haha, I just told my mother about that I want my new pens to come before I decide if I should go to the psychiatric ward again and she totally understood me. Am I being silly? Yes, but having something to do there is important to me. And I hate the tv and the boring magazines they have at such places.
I started over with my calender project for a fantasy theme instead. Right now I'm working on re-doing a goblin that I did before, just slightly different and most importantly: with the piece of paper turned horizontally, instead of vertically. I think this goblin should represent April, but I'm not sure.
Oh my god I'm soon done! Just finished the chapter about 2014 and I have only one chapter left to write. It's happening, the impossible: I'm getting done with my autobiography. Now I just need to figure out what to call the next chapter, the last chapter... it should be an ending of sorts, a summary, something that ties everything together, something very me. I don't know.
Whatever, I'm going to bed now, I've only got one more day of school and that's in a few hours.
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