Saturday, 1 February 2014

Sleep but no rest

This night was very exhausting. Not just because I woke up all the time (I don't know, maybe 20 times), but the dreams were confusing and distressing.

The first one I can remember was about me telling my best friends about the first time I was sexually assaulted. We were in a school yard just walking around and talking. First I told them the whole story in third person, and the dream ended with me saying it was me.

In another dream I was several different people in a complicated plot twist. I shifted between being an angsty teenager, a drug dealer, and a woman who was a full time thief mother to the teenager and ended up getting married to the drug dealer.

The positive side is that it was quite a relief when I could finally get up and out of bed. I hate it when I dream like that, it's like I can't get any rest at all. Thought about taking more sedatives/sleeping pills sometimes during the night, but I was too tired to get up. I didn't think of that I have a few extra pills on my bedside table. Easy access especially for occasions like that, but oh well.

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