Everything falls apart. It's just blood and pain everywhere. The wound in my soul never heals. What more can I reveal? I know now there's no help out there, they're just making it worse. I beg and plead for them to help me, I turn myself inside out, but all I get is useless pills, useless conversations and limitations, contraptions...
But it's tearing me apart... I haven't taken any medicines for about three days now, it has left me with an excruciating migraine and nausea. I can barely eat. As soon as I fall asleep, after hours of trying - I wake up in panic after a nightmare. Demons hunting me, the darkness and the pain are a part of me. I know that now. There's no way out.
How many wounds can I create at just one night? What a mess I've got myself into. But what if I can't take it no more? What if I'll do anything, anything for this to stop? What if life is just not worth living this way? I'm just waiting for an excuse, just waiting for an excuse...
How much poison have I consumed recently? I don't know. If I can't kill myself directly, I might as well do it indirectly. Just need some euthanasia... it can't possibly be called murder, I'm just barely alive anyways. I know mental illness will kill me, it's just a matter of time. There's nothing anyone can do, nothing at all.
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