This headache seems to be incurable. Yes, it's still here since yesterday. Taking pain killers is just as pointless as telling it to go away. Well of course it's incurable, I've had it for almost nine years. But you get the point, it's worse now and it's bothering me. Usually it's just there, an even pressure on my every thought. But now it's aching more intensively, constantly, piercing through the bone.
I got a new medicine by the way. Since the Zyprexa I take for my anxiety doesn't work so well anymore (barely at all) my doctor added Abilify to take every day as a supplement to Zyprexa. Apparently, it's a neuroleptic drug. So just like that I got an anti psychotic medicine without any effort what so ever. How about that, eh?
It will probably not have any effect on my ghosts, but still. Cause I will take it for my anxiety, which is an entirely different chapter. Or well, maybe not. Cause my anxiety is that one thing that is actually connected to exactly everything I have to feel shitty about. It's the cause, the pain, the wound that cannot heal. Both my anxiety and my headache are there for this purpose, because of the same thing. Because of everything else.
So what can I do, but medicate the anxiety that is caused by everything else, which I should really be medicating instead? I feel like a weather beaten old house with decaying walls, and all I can do is trying to repaint it. It might look good on the outside, but who the hell would want to live in it? Finally I think I came up with a good metaphor.
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