Can't just leave it alone

I've noticed something. When people don't understand what someone is saying they rather maim them than try to understand. I'm reading up on some threads in a favourite online forum, and there's a new member there. That doesn't happen every day, it's still a rather small community. I say "still" because I've been a member there since just a few months after it was created, somewhere in either 2009 or 2010. Can't remember exactly.

Anyways, this new member seem to have a rough time trying to "fit in" with the established group and jargon there. (Maybe this is why there comes new members so seldom there?) I think I understand her just fine, but everyone else are so mean to her. I don't know what to say, cause I don't think I can explain what it is that I understand that the rest of the members quite obviously don't.

They are always so sensitive there and seem to have a hard time accepting new ideas and thoughts about things discussed there. I won't say which forum it is, but maybe some of you know which it is that I'm talking about. I like that forum, I really do, but sometimes it tends to become a little... elitistic.

I've obviously learned the jargon there since I'm one of the veterans, but I get tired of it sometimes. That I have to keep certain things to myself because I'm afraid they will start hacking on me too. Some subjects are just to be avoided in some situations, and some are to be avoided in all situations.

Many of my friends seem to think alike, and maybe cause that was the way I thought back when we became friends. Heavy on the "was" there. I change a lot and quicker than most people around me. I'm a like a sponge to new information and leave a lot of my opinions open for discussion, open for change. Thus, my personality is not fixed as would be the general way to exist.

I would not say it's hard to keep the friends I've had for a long time, it's more that I get more and more careful with what comes out of my mouth. Even when I'm drunk. Cause I don't want to create fights over my changed opinions and let them know that all of a sudden we're not so alike anymore. Cause I don't care about that. Being alike is not an important thing for me when it comes to friends. Keeping good friends is important.

Like my mother I encourage differences, cause that can make you grow as a person and you have something to discuss. But I also know that most people don't seem to share that opinion. Not really, not when it comes down to it. People want to have the same political views, the same religion or the lack there of, the same taste in music, same style of choice and so on. I can take a little battle over why I like a certain music artist that I'm not "supposed" to like. I can explain why I don't want to be a vegetarian and that's okay too and even kinda necessary. And I'm willing to talk about why I'm a Satanist and why I don't like Christianity as well. But I am open minded about religion, I really am.

But what I don't want to go into all the time is why I dislike the general idea of feminism, why animal rights are so boring to listen to, why I don't believe in a criminal justice system and so on. Things like that are just too exhausting to go into a battle with. And what's the point? Why would I feel a need to justify my beliefs? To get followers? I know there are people who agree with me somewhere out in the world, however insane or criminal they are, I'm not alone with my views. And even if so, what does it matter? Wouldn't that be sign of insecurity? And I'm not insecure, I'm just careful. Could be killed for less, you know.

Nah, I don't feel a need to bring it up. Not really and not all the time. Though sometimes it can be important to speak up if I feel a bit suffocated in a room full of people all agreeing on something I do not. Because my opinions are allowed to exist as well.

Well, back to the topic. I sense that that new member in that forum is a bit like me in a way. That she too has opinions that are a bit obscure or simply just different from the forum's jargon. And she gets maimed for it, because people refuse to understand and continuously reed between the lines and get offended for no good reason. They are so easily offended, it's tragic. I believe they have all right to be, but come on, you're human beings just like everyone else, you don't have to take everything personal all the time.

She has strong arguments, opinions that she has the right to have, but keeps getting misunderstood and I don't know if I should try to "rescue" her from the crowd. I'm not good at that, but I have done so a few times in previous situations. My motivation is that I simply care for outsiders, because I was like that too not so long ago, and I know what it's like to feel everyone is against you. 

I guess my reputation on the forum is important as well and I also guess I'm a bit afraid of becoming misunderstood myself if I do so. I have to think up a good argument that will be as solid as I can make it, without offending anyone. Wish me luck...

Pointless

I bleached my hair in a dream tonight. Wonder what that's supposed to mean. Maybe that I made the right choice in bleaching it for real. I've had recurring dreams where I'm blonde, it's almost like that's the way it's supposed to be somehow.

World of warcraft is having issues again. They're working on that, but I don't know how long it's gonna take. I'm trying not to get hysteric about it, telling myself I can embroider, write or knit instead. That it doesn't have to be so very upsetting. Not that it works though.

Everything seems so very pointless. What am I really doing with my life? Escaping it. I'm trying my hardest to escape from my horrible life without killing myself. Yeah, yeah, things are going well and I don't really want to die. It's just that I don't really want to live either. But embroidering things that I never finish, writing a lot of crap, playing video games without an end or any sort of real achievements... isn't that a bit pointless?

I don't know where I'm getting at, cause apparently I only like to do such "meaningless" things, which means that I actually bring some meaning to them. Nothing is simple though, is it? Cause they aren't totally meaningless, since I enjoy doing them, and by enjoying meaningless things they aren't per definition meaningless anymore.

So if there was a point with this entry, it would be that even though everything seems pointless sometimes, it doesn't have to mean that it is.