Stop and start again

Three days. It's been three days and I'm going psycho stalker again. If you ask what, do you really have to? Cause I know you know the answer already. I don't wanna repeat myself. Because when he goes offline, or just stops visiting a website for a little while, I go nuts. It's like I don't care if I come off as creepy or a stalker, I just need to feel close to him somehow. But I don't know how, so I do it in any way that I possibly can.

Still the same subtle hints, but just a lot more of them. He could probably feel me breathing down his neck when I'm like this. But I'm not always like this, and maybe that's what "saves" me from dropping into the stalker category. Cause normally I'm just friendly. No one has ever noticed that I've flirted with them, except from the one or two that I was overly flirtatious with, and the ones that already were obsessed/in love with me. So why would he even notice?

I don't know, I can't tell if he notices. I can't tell if he knows. Maybe I just want to believe that I can. Because it would be so much easier then, if the move actually was his to make. I have no idea what to do. If I should wait a little longer, back off, move in, stay the same, die of heartache.

I'm obsessing again, and it's just gonna get worse. Because you know it can always get worse. I don't wanna picture it, it might look ugly. I don't wanna become that way, but what I want I don't think I can have. I ask for so much and get so little in return, it should be the other way around.