So, tomorrow is my birthday and all I can feel is my past creeping up from behind me again. All I want is some fucking peace in this blimey head of mine, but do I get it? No, all I get is anxiety with my heart beating so fast I almost think I'll reach cardiac arrest, for no fucking reason at all! What am I supposed to get out of it? I just want this life to teach me more about surviving and less about feeling like a complete mess. Just my opinion.
I'm cutting more again. Not as much as several times a day, but still enough... I can't help but feeling so vulnerable, like I'm not cut out to be alive. I just ain't made for that. I know all about surviving but nothing about living.
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