I've been starting to see that prostituation could actually, maybe, be a way for me to get off this island and move to somewhere I'd actually want to live instead. Cause with that, even if I'm not terribly lucky, I could still get an actually substantial amount of money from it. And if I then save as much as realistically possible, I could potentially have enough (after a few years or so) to buy or rent a more expensive apartment in Stockholm and not have to deal with the ridiculously long waiting queue for regular renting flats off the website. I could just buy one directly from another person who's selling theirs, or go through real estate. Not saying it would be "easy" though, I'm saying it would be easy in comparison. With my parents' help, of course. I've gotta be smart with my money though, so I don't just piss it all away. Cause having been kinda poor my whole life, I can see it would really difficult to suddenly need to know how to handle larger sums efficiently and in a smart way.
That would be the sweetest thing if it could be possible though. Cause if I'm gonna be brutally realistic about my situation, I'm not gonna be able to find a place in Stockholm with my current financial situation. And the other kind of allowance I could get after turning 30 would be on the same minimum wage amount, just with a different name and stricter rules to get it. Once having it, it wouldn't be any difference. Then I could maybe get an apartment 10-15 years from now if I just continue sitting on my ass and do nothing. At least if the country's residence crisis continues like this with the ever expanding population rate and not enough buildings to go around. That is a real issue for me and not just boring politics, no matter how much I keep telling myself it will just be fine while I shut my ear and eyes and sing lalala.
Cause it won't, not at this rate. The entire country's economy is on the brink of collapsing, pretty much, and the only thing barely holding it together at this point is ironically enough the constant waves of new immigrants moving in, which further worsens the crisis of people not being able to find somewhere to live. (This is why "open borders immigration" is a flawed concept that will eventually ruin the whole country and has nothing to do with racism, by the way. It's essentially overpopulation in a specific nation which the nation cannot handle in the long run as it runs out of resources for its people, native or not). The economy will collapse, sooner or later, when the bubble can't hold anymore. What happens then, I don't know. But I hope the complete idiots in our government will manage to pull something out of their arses to patch up the situation that they literally caused with their idiotic decision to take in far more immigrants than the country could hold.
But whatever, as I don't have that kind of power to prevent that future economy collapse or to fix it the damage that surely follows, I'll just have to try to fix my own collapsing economy. Somehow. But I'm at least actually kinda glad that this is not my main reason for my wish to become a prostitute, but a thought that came up a lot later on. Actually 8 years later on. That means it's not my main driving force, so it's not very likely it would become the push that then becomes the shove into that kind of work. However it could become so that it might drive me to try to earn more and more money quicker once I'm already in it. But that would still be a lot better cause then I'd feel pressured slower and more gradually over time when already haven gotten a hang of it - instead of shoving myself face first into it when it's still unfamiliar territory which would be much more damaging, both short term and long term.
It's very difficult to say how much I could reasonably earn as a prostitute, but from looking around online, it looks like I could expect twice the amount I get monthly today at least. At least! That means I could actually, if I'd get good at it and a fairly good amount of clients, very reasonably earn something like 40 thousand a month (pre- taxes though). I just cooked up some simple maths to see how that could work out in theory. Let's say I'd start off with 2000 kr per fuck and do that 3 times/week. Then that's 12 fucks/month which adds up to 24 thousand kr/month. If I'd keep the price but up the frequency to 5 fucks/week, we're already looking at 40 thousand kr/month. But then let's say I'd up the price to 3000 kr/fuck but keep the frequency of 5 fucks/week, then lo and behold, we're looking at a 60 thousand kr/month salary. That's almost what a doctor earns! (However it's more reasonable I'd start with a lower price and work my way up, and also not every fuck would cost the same cause it would depend on what we'd do/which services agreed upon and for how long sessions, so my calculations are just a very rough estimate.)
Just to put it into some kind of perspective: I think both my parents together get/earn almost around 30-40 thousand, which is enough to support our entire family, own a house, 2 cars, goodness knows how many cats, and save money. I don't think I could earn more than that while still living on Gotland cause of just not being able to get that many clients due to the low population rate and me being a guy (however it could be easier on summers cause of the massive increase in tourists then) but it would certainly be enough to save up enough to be able to move to the much bigger Stockholm where I could much more likely get popular and earn even more.
I might even be able to get financially independent, if I dared to hope that high. Cause then I could potentially be earning something even higher like 50 or even 60 thousand a month if I'd be a real Duracell rabbit (some of you Swedes might get the reference, but if you don't I just mean I'd need to be very frequent about it and not get tired or a little less frequent but up my prices which I could maybe do if I'd get like professionally good in bed). So with that kind of money and only having myself to support... It would however only be possible for me to get filthy rich from selling my butt if:
1) it works out rather well to begin with and it's something I can manage to continue with in the long run
2) I could get enough clients/often enough shags for the payments to keep building up
3) I stay out of legal trouble, at least economic and/or costly ones
4) I don't get ill or injured for any longer period of time in which I'd be unable to work
5) I actually do manage to move and continue my business in Stockholm where there's more people, therefore more money
6) I keep my mental stability in check
7) and give at least a decade to being in that business
as well as probably a whole host of other "ifs", but I think those might be some of the most important ones. However, if I do end up getting into porn as well, that might get me more money per fuck but I've no idea if it would be less or more exhausting to do.
I mean, let's see it this way: what's the harm in trying if it is what I actually want to do regardless? And don't give me any of the legal bullshit, the health risks or any moral preachings. I'm talking about if it can realistically be done, and if I could realistically manage it psychologically. The legal-argumment is unnecessary cause I do and will try my best on that point already, same with the health risks, and morality is just not an argumment at all.
It could actually be extra advantagous that I'm such a good liar, in terms of getting myself out of or avoiding legal trouble. Like I can easily see myself lying my ass off about how "I'm a well-adjusted, hard-working masseur who didn't do nothing wrong, how even dare you accusing me of... that!" with a faked look of horror and disgust on my face, but without overplaying it like that, of course.
Oh but I think it would be fun and exciting though. Exhausting, terrifying, nerve-wrecking, tiring and difficult too. Am I looking at this realistically enough? Would I ever have a chance in that kind of work? Or would I just do it once and then curl up on my bed while gasping "never again!"? Oh but how can my life ever be complete without that kind of experience, even if it is terrible? My heart is terrible, it can't live without its high doses of sex and danger. Combine the two and it's a home. Damn I'm fucked up, but I love it. It's not insanity if you're not suffering from it.
That is actually true in a sense and not just something I made up. I meant that in order for something to be considered a mental illness or psychological condition, it has to require that the patient is suffering from it or the consequences of it. If there's no suffering, there's no illness. Then you're just weird. So I guess that must be the literal difference between being "weird" and "insane" if you put it into that kind of perspective. The absense or presence or suffering. I haven't thought of that before.
Of course I don't think that wanting to become a prostitute is a in any way a mental illness, I was actually referring to my... I don't think I can call it a "sex addiction" but let's just pretend it's close enough for argumment's sake. I meant my obsession with stranger sex and dangerous sex. And since I've had quite a bit of it in my life so far, yet never even got an STD, never actually got psychologically harmed by it (rather the opposite in fact) or harmed in any other way (I don't count the rape because that happened before I started seeking out sex with strangers), never got pregnant... where's the suffering? The behaviour itself hasn't been harmful for me despite the dangers that it comes with, but no I'm not saying that the trauma that lead me to that behaviour hasn't been harmful. That's another thing. And let's keep them separate for at least as long as one is harmful and the other is harmless, cause it's an important distinction to make.
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